Notes: For several years I’ve dug into world conspiracy theories as a hobby. Admittedly not all of them are fact, (however entertaining the idea might be) but shockingly I believe many of them are. This is a short lyrical piece that I wrote regarding chem trails, D.U.M.B.S, and some other popular topics in the community. I encourage everyone to do their own research and come to your own conclusions.
Ice caps melting with little trace of global warming you figure facing death we would heed Mother Natures’s warning. Storms like on this planet never seen before but you better believe they play with H.A.A.R.P continuing to ignore because if it’s one thing those with power want it’s more. Never enough want us to consume pay just to breathe when they trash this planet Mars is open they’ll bio form it jet into space we will be stuck in the toilet watching them leave. Why is the plainest truth the hardest to believe? Could be because they do worse to us than to our worst enemy we could even conceive where they’ll make a hopeful future for the poor something impossible to achieve. Real truth isn’t always buried in books, sometimes you gotta get out there in the world actually take the world around you just look. Threat levels that initiate confusion added to the 911 lies media propagated delusion any attempt to escape the iron grip on your perception perceived as an intrusion.
The ways we go again oh the ways of men
to commit one thing by paper the lies we reep by pen.
Not so different this time around as it was back then.
Promises made when a world wiped away the tears
money always an object controlled population by fears.
The wrath of god is greater than any of your wildest dreams
machavelian notions to plot, control, enslave, scheme.
Written By: “dr John”
Inspired By: Schiendlers List Soundtrack (accustic)
A friend asked me to explain every line of what this meant to me. Here is my reply. :
Paper lace and twisted thoughts how come I came to remember you when I’d almost forgot. The steps that lead to your abyss linger like the perfect first kiss. The wrapping in getting trapped in a game your not trying to play that spins a silent web against the words and promises you say. Front porch swings and night laughter when a happier life was all either of us was after. Love the way you make things brighter for tomorrow, just to flood the flowers with tears drowning them in sorrow. I can’t blame you because I’d rather see you smile as long as it might come to one day last awhile. Petal that blue bike to where smiles might grace your face, and even if for a moment you’d find your happy place. Too many scars I wonder if you can truly love again, because the first step is embracing that which lies within but you’ve got to find compromise, then place to begin.
I’m tired from a war that wages on my heart and mind.
Didn’t turn out anything near what I wanted so I nearly scrapped it. Written to: Matchbox 20 “HANG”
(My favorite MB20 Song BTW)
Can’t hear you speaking while your breathing lies the streets of loneliness are cold when love dies. Had it broken apart so many times wonder why I still try maybe cause I’ll search for my soul mate until the day I die. A room with the door shut and the lights down low because in truth you can’t see where your about to go you know in many aspects that’d just make you a hoe and you threw away love you can’t take feeling that low. Truth in lyrics the fields that I sow comfortable with the accusation knowing what I know the things in places your too afraid to show. Memories wash away as I realize it was lies check back a few weeks ago when I wrote “I can no longer cry”, this Earth is bare of true loyal friends that’s why it’s easy to spin LiL Wayne I feel like dyeing. and in truth when ever we speak those feelings just keep multiplying. A pursuit of another life but I keep on trying.
Back to this again a place where the only tears I can cry fall out of my pen. I wonder if the hurt I feel now is the same as it was way back when I can’t remember because I swore I’d never bring those days back again. Sometimes it’s not even the love being gone I miss it’s the time wasted that I chose to spend broken against the moments where you couldn’t take the pressure to bend. Now things are gone too far there is no chance to mend we can’t even end things and be friends. The lines on the road all blur I turn up the radio, but inside all I think about is her. I push down on the pedal wishing I would explode into a pool of molten metal. You can read this and move on just thinking I’m mental but this is the life I live with daily finding peace is increasingly problemental .
Take a journey with me in these dreams of mine where promises are kept dreams come true and we live in paradise until the end of time. Spin up the past sum it up real fast age 4 mom held a gun to my head and threatened to blast. Few years later got taken outta class when they found out about what was going on at home I was gone real fast. Missed my father so I wouldn’t sign adoption papers, to the disapproval of my foster parents and the shock of the neighbors. Back home I went a couple of years I spend fourteen years old I began to work and pay rent saw my mom remembered the abuse and told her fuck off and get bent. One day the cops knocked on the door thought they were there to take my psychotic mother but she had something else in store. Hands placed in cuffs as I pled for help from my sister that my mother adored she lied and backed my mom and my mouth hit the floor. Placing me in juvenile hall for false charges made me easier to ignore. I spent the rest of my childhood there and didn’t see anything resembling a real life anymore. These are the pages of this life I’ve lived the love and humanity this world has chosen to give. Brain is a mess think I have abandonment issues, but I’m no angel so feel free to drop the box of tissues. The older I grow the more of my past comes out and I begin to show. I am the hatred and pain my family planted and like a plant out of control I grow.
Born and left for another to raise an abandoned seed that never forgot I question even without the years of beatings if I ever could have been saved. Was it all just a straight lined journey to see an early grave? When I approach the gates of heaven I just hope some of my prayers where heard and he knows my name. I searched for true friends and loved ones, but honestly in the end only a few survive while all the rest like clones act the same. Mortal objects more possessions doesn’t interest me anymore because I woke up long ago that they are earthly infatuations that I chose to ignore. Journals with lyrics containing the tears of my life from a murdered father to a failed marriage and losing a best friend the same day as a ex-wife. It’s just another reason to not want to awake to another day of this life.
He said to envision the future I wanted to come into my vision. Push past the pain run faster than the clouds to escape the rain. Lessons learned engraved into my mind into my blood burned. My final judge will be met on my way home one comfort is upon my arrival he’ll be there along with other friends I’ve lost along the way I’ll no longer be alone. I know anything has to be better than this life I’ve been shown. Not like we had a choice, but had it been presented I wouldn’t have ever come down had I known.
Halls filled inside creating portions of insanity but I know true freedom comes from more than walls we might see. Wasted too much time even though more than once I’ve laid my life on the line. Even for you or does enlisting not count? I never wanted to come back, but I was the broken ball they chose to re-bound. I was already damaged pulled I believe from life’s lost & found. I’ll be resting easier only once I’m back in ground. I’ve got real odds that say real love is one out of a million where you’ve got to weed out the lies. It’s not who’s there when you’re smiling but the one that sticks around for the times you cry. Hopefully share a life together full of truth and honesty until the day you die. Reasons left to stay are diminished so I’m left asking why.
Sent into the wild ride away from the flames others choke on the lies they tell convicts in gods prison where he knows all their names. Prepared for death or war whichever comes first fed from the passion within escape, evade, and survive while I never thirst. Knew the day would come when lies would be spread prepared in kind knowing the end game is my removal from this life where I’d be better off dead. I pray at night before I wake lift it up just in case I stop breathing so my soul he can take. Vows to a higher power keeping the promises to him I make. The misery of my adolescents weighs so heavy that the pressure I can barely take another ounce may be too much, I fear I’d break. It was never a game in loving you, but it felt like death when it was through. Now not even in a position to help or find a better outcome I’m left with few options don’t know what to do.
Blurred lines of highway stretching to Motor City I watched as the Detroit lines faded; inside I was heartbroken and jaded. Looked ahead to a road full of broken promises in a moment of lost clarity I’d created. Tears fell down like a waterfall I tossed away my phone with no one left to call. I’d already hit rock bottom (or so I thought) so I didn’t expect there was so far to fall.
I wish I could take away the pain but all I can do is promise that it can’t always rain. I’ve held out to catch the tears before they fall but right now I don’t feel as though I can do anything at all. Days they come and go no matter what anyone says the future can’t be told and not anything is promised not even the ability to grow old. The streets are absent friendly faces the sun rarely shines, and I’ve never felt so cold.
Came to you at the end of the road and a life full of regret a beautiful picture but all the same a fading sunset. You’re the best part of a story gone wrong and it’s clear that you’ll be better off when this chapter ends with me gone. Despite what some may say about the decision I know it isn’t wrong. I may not have written the beginning, but I can choose the ending of my life’s song. This is not my home it is not where I belong.