“This Life”

Intro:

Can’t hear you speaking while your breathing lies the streets of loneliness are cold when love dies. Had it broken apart so many times wonder why I still try maybe cause I’ll search for my soul mate until the day I die.  A room with the door shut and the lights down low because in truth you can’t see where your about to go you know in many aspects that’d just make you a hoe and you threw away love you can’t take feeling that low. Truth in lyrics the fields that I sow comfortable with the accusation knowing what I know the things in places your too afraid to show.   Memories wash away as I realize it was lies check back a few weeks ago when I wrote “I can no longer cry”, this Earth is bare of true loyal friends that’s why it’s easy to spin LiL Wayne I feel like dyeing. and in truth when ever we speak those feelings just keep multiplying. A pursuit of another life but I keep on trying.

(1)

Back to this again a place where the only tears I can cry fall out of my pen. I wonder if the hurt I feel now is the same as it was way back when I can’t remember because I swore I’d never bring those days back again. Sometimes it’s not even the love being gone I miss it’s the time wasted that I chose to spend broken against the moments where you couldn’t take the pressure to bend. Now things are gone too far there is no chance to mend we can’t even end things and be friends.  The lines on the road all blur I turn up the radio, but inside all I think about is her. I push down on the pedal wishing I would explode into a pool of molten metal. You can read this and move on just thinking I’m mental but this is the life I live with daily finding peace is increasingly problemental .

(2)

Take a journey with me in these dreams of mine where promises are kept dreams come true and we live in paradise until the end of time.  Spin up the past sum it up real fast age 4 mom held a gun to my head and threatened to blast. Few years later got taken outta class when they found out about what was going on at home I was gone real fast. Missed my father so I wouldn’t sign adoption papers, to the disapproval of my foster parents and the shock of the neighbors. Back home I went  a couple of years I spend fourteen years old I began to work and pay rent saw my mom remembered the abuse and told her fuck off and get bent. One day the cops knocked on the door thought they were there to take my psychotic mother but she had something else in store. Hands placed in cuffs as I pled for help from my sister that my mother adored she lied and backed my mom and my mouth hit the floor. Placing me in juvenile hall for false charges made me easier to ignore. I spent the rest of my childhood there and didn’t see anything resembling a real life anymore. These are the pages of this life I’ve lived the love and humanity this world has chosen to give. Brain is a mess think I have abandonment issues, but I’m no angel so feel free to drop the box of tissues. The older I grow the more of my past comes out and I begin to show. I am the hatred and pain my family planted and like a plant out of control I grow.