Monthly Archives: June 2012

I Never Walked Alone

Faith, Lyrics/Poetry

A thousand miles walked to reach the light even when the road seemed broken you held me tight.

All around me my world crumbled as I encountered my life’s greatest fight.

They told me there would be days of darkness to get back home and they were right.

Alone with only your word in my heart I pressed on a thousand friends left my side but you were never gone.

They spoke of doubt I held strong at my weakest you helped me go on there all along.

Happiness fills me when I think of your love for us all when I can only offer thanks in praise and song.

A world full of empty promises and broken dreams brought be back to your arms where I belong.

You’ve pulled me from ash, shoved me out of the water before it filled my lungs

you saw the beginning and end of my story before it had ever begun.

I thank God daily for loving us enough to send his only son.

You are the Alpha the Omega my friend the one.

 ~My Prayer~

Lord I pray and thank you for the moments when I could have been swept away

that you held my heart and soul to see another day. I give sincere thanks that your there when all others left my side

for loving me for all I am including that which only you know inside. I feel at peace when I feel you near

a calm in the storm when the future isn’t clear because I know within your love I never walk alone there is nothing to fear.

Everything good about me I pray may it bring you joy may I grow stronger in my ability to live within your grace so I again

see your kingdom on my final day.

This Life

Journal

“This Life”

Intro:

ImageCan’t hear you speaking while your breathing lies the streets of loneliness are cold when love dies. Had it broken apart so many times wonder why I still try maybe cause I’ll search for my soul mate until the day I die.  A room with the door shut and the lights down low because in truth you can’t see where your about to go you know in many aspects that’d just make you a hoe and you threw away love you can’t take feeling that low. Truth in lyrics the fields that I sow comfortable with the accusation knowing what I know the things in places your too afraid to show.   Memories wash away as I realize it was lies check back a few weeks ago when I wrote “I can no longer cry”, this Earth is bare of true loyal friends that’s why it’s easy to spin LiL Wayne I feel like dyeing. and in truth when ever we speak those feelings just keep multiplying. A pursuit of another life but I keep on trying.

(1)

ImageBack to this again a place where the only tears I can cry fall out of my pen. I wonder if the hurt I feel now is the same as it was way back when I can’t remember because I swore I’d never bring those days back again. Sometimes it’s not even the love being gone I miss it’s the time wasted that I chose to spend broken against the moments where you couldn’t take the pressure to bend. Now things are gone too far there is no chance to mend we can’t even end things and be friends.  The lines on the road all blur I turn up the radio, but inside all I think about is her. I push down on the pedal wishing I would explode into a pool of molten metal. You can read this and move on just thinking I’m mental but this is the life I live with daily finding peace is increasingly problemental .

(2)

Take a journey with me in these dreams of mine where promises are kept dreams come true and we live in paradise until the end of time.  Spin up the past sum it up real fast age 4 mom held a gun to my head and threatened to blast. Few years later got taken outta class when they found out about what was going on at home I was gone real fast. Missed my father so I wouldn’t sign adoption papers, to the disapproval of my foster parents and the shock of the neighbors. Back home I went  a couple of years I spend fourteen years old I began to work and pay rent saw my mom remembered the abuse and told her fuck off and get bent. One day the cops knocked on the door thought they were there to take my psychotic mother but she had something else in store. Hands placed in cuffs as I pled for help from my sister that my mother adored she lied and backed my mom and my mouth hit the floor. Placing me in juvenile hall for false charges made me easier to ignore. I spent the rest of my childhood there and didn’t see anything resembling a real life anymore. These are the pages of this life I’ve lived the love and humanity this world has chosen to give. Brain is a mess think I have abandonment issues, but I’m no angel so feel free to drop the box of tissues. The older I grow the more of my past comes out and I begin to show. I am the hatred and pain my family planted and like a plant out of control I grow.

Occupy Is Dead

#Occupy

Mini Article By: John Paul McQuisten

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I watched as the man within the Miami crowd presented a flower to the oncoming riot police while expelling statements seemingly intended to aim at the moral fibers of his would be oppressors. There were six individuals remaining the rest had chosen to disburse from the area as advised. The defiance to leave the area was stated to be loosely embedded in the first amendment right, unfortunately while the premise was sound the man was standing on private property. This was the last interaction with any Occupy movement I intend to have. Months ago I started looking at what change was actually being created from what more and more was looking like a cross between a circus and an UN-organized convention of causes. Myself and others had reached out to some of the groups protestors asking how we could continue to be productive and remain within the fight. It was clear rarely was anything with these efforts was being accomplished more often than not now Occupy was the joke of the media. Slowly the coverage dissipated I believe the moment to be all but dead.

In review it’s quite sad with all the people gathered, all that energy a year later my initial prediction carries on to be completely accurate. A YouTube video address I did to several Occupy camps highlighted just how I believed the effort was falling short of what could be accomplished. To me it poses the question does our generation have what it takes to not only make a stand, but also make a difference? After the tents being torn down, the mobilized cities of protest extinguished I can’t name a single measure that was initiated, carried out, and signed into legal legislation. The biggest thing that may have been proven is that today’s youth is ill prepared to do little more than rant and rave. I’m not alone national coverage saw this coming and in reflection much of it seems like a temper tantrum a lot of loud boisterous goings on, but at the core UN-able to express what was wrong and implement anything to resolve it.

Perhaps there are embers somewhere burning that will re-ignite the flames of democracy and the movement, but the chances of that seem slim. I take no joy in this overview for I too held out hope for the movement. At our core I believe more often than not we want to see the little guy come out victorious and the 99% movement embodied just that. So I will proceed with realistic optimism and remain thankful I was able to be a part of the movement in Minneapolis, California, Utah, and Las Vegas.

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RIP Occupy 2011-2012

“Spread Your Wings”

Lyrics/Poetry

“Spread Your Wings”

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Intro:

Go ahead and dream if you believe than you can achieve. Reach high just let the well of faith inside never run dry. When people tell you it can’t be done just please have the courage to try.  Some days may seem harder than you can take that’s where you’ll need to pull from within from the strength too strong to break.  Remember plants need sun and rain so be prepared for bad weather in the future you reach to attain. It’s character during the hardest moments that shines brightest when we maintain.

(A.)

Friends will come and go the closest ones during the hardest times will either stay true or you’ll evacuate them slow just to show the darkness might be too much and the pressure is about to blow. Times of happiness are often the ones we take for granted those that create the strength are where you can barely stand it. Pay more attention to bettering your life than to what others think those who plot against you or bare false witness will be quick to sink. When it comes to decisions listen to your heart, pray and of course never forget to take the time to think.

(B.)

Shore to shore I’ll love you funny the last thing you told me was “even though you’re not here I love you.” Always seen myself as your protector perhaps an angel who when needed rests above you. Infection spread through the air inside some place we know what’s true. I place no blame at your feet this has much more to do with another’s fucked up beef.  I’m gonna stand until my final curtain call truth, and god on our side get knocked down just get up when you fall.

———————————————————————————————

(Random Lyrics) -UN Related-

New chapter proceed with caution no longer capable of laughter. Mirrors against the wall and a baseball bat ready to shatter because when this is over I ask myself does anything matter. All lost in the sands of time can’t take it when we leave and nothing was ever really mine. I’ve left my final words so they may forever to those who wish to read them shine.  Demons love to sit on route 66 I love to hunt them without mercy and ride with fill clips. Cellular triangulation better informed than CI tips that’s because the mother fuckers place a higher value on cash than closed lips and to me honest they’ve been sick of the demons shit. Prepared for the battle I lit the fire in the bottomless pit.

Do promises mean nothing in this world anymore?

Pain seems  like a currency that that wicked adore.

It’s like the old sang goes when it rains it pours.

Look for me just to find you can’t anymore.

(1)

“ I Can’t Cry This Time – “

Beyond the lonely nights and missing you I know we did what’s right. Ours was a plant starved for the warmth of day but with us together neither of us would ever see the light. It’s easier to let go than push for something bad for both of us and fight. Someone like you doesn’t drop out of mind simply because they’re outta sight clearly evident tonight.

Getting so used to the tears of a broken heart I don’t even fight or try to wipe them away. Things are different this time I can’t cry this time because it feels just like another day. A broken world left in ash and rubble trying to make it work was probably not worth the trouble.  I walk on and stand tall knowing things in life change like the season’s winter, spring, summer, and fall.

(2)

“Time Travel –“

Frozen seconds watching as the watch hand spins round streams of cars before my eyes faster than I can count. Standing still in a reality ever changing in front of me I can’t grasp the entire situation but have not lost all clarity. A hidden secret within the fabric of this life we all live that releases it’s presence to a select few it chooses to give. All UN aware as you meet within the fabric of this place they are strangers with a familiar face.

I’ve crossed these boundaries of space and time only to rest in between the lines. Lived through a life of others lies that left many in my world blind.  Now I journey past the eclipse of the sun for any truth left in the world I’m able to find. Through the tunnels cross the county in a matter of minutes not hours a must know destination when we await 2012-2029 meteor showers.  Reality has people so high out in California feeling like they got super powers.

(3) Freestyle

World set on fire as Angels spread wings out run the flames history repeating always ends the same.

I fight to pretend like I’ve lost nothing, but our love was never a game. Watching lines pass on the road trying to clear my mind, I’d go to where you are but fear the answers that’d I’d find. I wish there was a way to take my life and just rewind. Truth is I admit I’ll foolishly love you until the end of time. Searching for answers just in vain; because nothing will ever take away this pain. Floods consume the Earth while emptiness takes over my heart I say let it rain let it all fall apart.

Gotta let go and brush the rest off my shoulders cause pain will eventually roll you over like bolders. There’s those that’ll take flight and others that are just place holders, but when it comes down to it were all on the battle field as soldiers.

Avant que je ne parte

Journal, Lyrics/Poetry

Born and left for another to raise an abandoned seed that never forgot I question even without the years of beatings if I ever could have been saved. Was it all just a straight lined journey to see an early grave? When I approach the gates of heaven I just hope some of my prayers where heard and he knows my name. I searched for true friends and loved ones, but honestly in the end only a few survive while all the rest like clones act the same. Mortal objects more possessions doesn’t interest me anymore because I woke up long ago that they are earthly infatuations that I chose to ignore. Journals with lyrics containing the tears of my life from a murdered father to a failed marriage and losing a best friend the same day as a ex-wife. It’s just another reason to not want to awake to another day of this life.

He said to envision the future I wanted to come into my vision. Push past the pain run faster than the clouds to escape the rain. Lessons learned engraved into my mind into my blood burned. My final judge will be met on my way home one comfort is upon my arrival he’ll be there along with other friends I’ve lost along the way I’ll no longer be alone. I know anything has to be better than this life I’ve been shown. Not like we had a choice, but had it been presented I wouldn’t have ever come down had I known.

Halls filled inside creating portions of insanity but I know true freedom comes from more than walls we might see. Wasted too much time even though more than once I’ve laid my life on the line. Even for you or does enlisting not count? I never wanted to come back, but I was the broken ball they chose to re-bound. I was already damaged pulled I believe from life’s lost & found. I’ll be resting easier only once I’m back in ground. I’ve got real odds that say real love is one out of a million where you’ve got to weed out the lies. It’s not who’s there when you’re smiling but the one that sticks around for the times you cry. Hopefully share a life together full of truth and honesty until the day you die. Reasons left to stay are diminished so I’m left asking why.

Sent into the wild ride away from the flames others choke on the lies they tell convicts in gods prison where he knows all their names. Prepared for death or war whichever comes first fed from the passion within escape, evade, and survive while I never thirst.  Knew the day would come when lies would be spread prepared in kind knowing the end game is my removal from this life where I’d be better off dead. I pray at night before I wake lift it up just in case I stop breathing so my soul he can take. Vows to a higher power keeping the promises to him I make. The misery of my adolescents weighs so heavy that the pressure I can barely take another ounce may be too much, I fear I’d break. It was never a game in loving you, but it felt like death when it was through. Now not even in a position to help or find a better outcome I’m left with few options don’t know what to do.